YuGiOh is a Possessed Schoolgirl
by Mokona the Marshmallow God
Summary: Yu-Gi decides to come live with me .... in my closet? R&R! *ch. 3 is up*
1. In which I am landed with YuGi

Yu-Gi-Oh is a Possessed School-Girl Who Lives in my Closet. *TRUE STORY*  
  
Summary: Yu-Gi-Oh decides to come live in my closet. Oh joy. Not to mention he is possessed, which you obviously read in the title, otherwise you would not be reading this fanfiction because you are obviously, looking for stupid humor, therefore, I am giving it to you as a way of expressing my opinion about that idiotic show y'all call Yu-Gi-Oh. Enjoy the sow!  
  
Sow: Oink Oink. (That is my pun. Any copying will result in a long, painful burning)  
  
---------------------  
  
Rinoa: AAAAAH!  
  
Cerebus: RAAARGh!  
  
Rinoa: Squall! Save me!  
  
Squall: Oh, save yourself.  
  
Rinoa: Squall, you're so brave!  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Cerebus: RAAAARGh!  
  
Squall: Argh! My gunblade!  
  
Rinoa: Don't worry Squall! I'll save you!!!  
  
(Slashes Cerebus)  
  
Rinoa: AAAGH!  
  
Squall: Oh no! He's too strong! I have to use the...  
  
DING DONG!  
  
Fluffbunnies! I was playing with my action figures :( COME IN!  
  
???: Um... may I come in?  
  
Yes! I said you could come in!  
  
???: Well, I don't mean to be intruding....  
  
Well, you're intruding in my playing time.  
  
??? : Oh my gosh, I'm so very sorry :( Sob sob  
  
Quit your crying! What are you here for? Who are you? Get in here!  
  
CRRRREEEEEEAAAAKKK  
  
Yu-Gi-Oh: Um... pardon me....  
  
Are you from the bank?  
  
Yu-Gi: Uh, no ma'am. I'm....  
  
You had better not be a sales person. I don't want anything you're selling. Now then...  
  
Squall: I must use the... SECRET SQUALL PLAN!  
  
Rinoa: THE SECRET SQUALL PLAN?! But it's never been tested! What if...  
  
Yu-Gi: Uh, excuse me.... Do you mind if I stay the night?  
  
WHAT THE WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?!  
  
Yu-Gi: Don't worry about me. I'll just stay in here.  
  
The closet? MY ...closet?  
  
Yu-Gi: Wow! Your room is so pretty! With such beautiful colors,oh! and look at the kitties! Tee hee! I just LOVE kitty cats!  
  
Yeah, whatever.  
  
Squall: I'll be fine Rinoa. Just trust me!  
  
Rinoa: But Squall, What if you get hurt? I don't know what I'd do without you!  
  
Yu-Gi: Oh, what a tragic love! You're so mean to your toys! Their costumes are cute. Did you make them? :)  
  
Exactly what mental institute did you escape from?  
  
Yu-Gi: Well, actually....  
  
Squall: I must go now, Rinoa!  
  
Rinoa: No! Wait! I summon BAHAMUT!  
  
Bahamut: Raaaa!  
  
Yu-Gi: ooo! It's wings are so pretty :)  
  
Will you let me finish playing? We'll get to you later.  
  
Yu-Gi: Alright, if you insist.  
  
Bahamut: (knocks over Cerebus)  
  
Cerebus: RAAARGh!  
  
Bahamut: (Disappears)  
  
Rinoa: Oh Squall are you OK? Speak to me!  
  
Squall: I was supposed to kill him (sob)  
  
Rinoa: Oh, don't be sad Squall! I'm sure there'll be another monster.....  
  
Like... THIS? ROOOOAAAAR! (Drops toys in toy chest) I'm done playing. What was it you wanted?  
  
Yu-Gi: I was just commenting on how pretty everything in here is. Ooo! Is that your computer?  
  
Yes, that would be mine. No--- don't look in that folder! That's personal information!  
  
Yu-Gi: August 12, 2000. Dear Diary, I---  
  
(I push the power button on my PC) (sighs) Just - just don't touch anything, OK?  
  
Yu-Gi: OK. HEY! Playhouses!  
  
No! Those are my little tiny room thingies!  
  
Yu-Gi: Tiny things are so cute, don't you agree?  
  
Why yes, Yu-Gi-Oh. I do. Big things are such a pain, huh?  
  
Yu-Gi: Yeah.  
  
Like your mouth.  
  
Yu-Gi: Yeah! :)  
  
........ Go away.  
  
Yu-Gi: Excuse me?  
  
Get out of my house. You're not welcome. You're a guy, right?  
  
Yu-Gi: Yes.  
  
A man?  
  
Yu-Gi: Yeah!  
  
And you like pretty things and cute things?  
  
Yu-Gi: Uh-Huh!  
  
And I like fire, humorous tragic love, stupid humor, fire, martial arts, and anything that burns?  
  
Yu-Gi: Wow! I'm so glad we're getting to know each other! Hey! We can be room-mates, like you have at colleges! Ooo this is going to be so fun!Tee hee hee!  
  
No. You can't seem to get this through your thick skull. You will not be staying here, we will not be room-mates, and this is not going to be fun.  
  
Yu-Gi: Yes it is! I know the best way to have fun!  
  
How?  
  
Yu-Gi: TEA PARTIES! We can use your stuffed animals to be the guests and...  
  
I'd rather go play with BARBIES than do that.  
  
Yu-Gi: That's another great way to play!  
  
-.-* That was sarcastic, Yu-Gi.  
  
Yu-Gi: Oh please oh please oh PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASE?!  
  
(time passes)  
  
Barbie: Ken! I'm home! Tee hee! Ken: Barbie! Run for your life! There's a wild monster and it's going to eat you!  
  
Yu-Gi: That's not how we're supposed to play!  
  
Hey, this was YOUR idea...  
  
Yu-Gi: Actually it was yours.  
  
Good. So if I want a wild monster to eat Barbie...?  
  
Yu-Gi: (sigh) a wild monster will eat Barbie.... but can it be pretty?  
  
Fine. (Grabs a giant Sailor Moon cat sphere) Beep Beep!  
  
Barbie: EEEK! Ken, save me!  
  
Hold on a second. I'm a girl. You're a boy. You're playing with Barbie and I'm playing with Ken?  
  
Yu-Gi: (holds up Barbie) She's hot, huh?  
  
-.-* Let's find a new game, like cards. Do you play the Poke`mon Card Game?  
  
Yu-Gi: But that's so... so... Violent!  
  
So what? You play with monster cards all the time.  
  
Yu-Gi: Only pretty monsters! :) Now, about that tea party  
  
.... that would take WAY too much time out of my life.  
  
Yu-Gi: I'm hungry.  
  
Great! I'll order pizza!  
  
Yu-Gi: But I brought crumpets and tea to share :)  
  
(time passes)  
  
Yu-Gi: I'm stuffed.  
  
You only ate three bites!  
  
Yu-Gi: But I don't want to get FAT!  
  
Guys aren't supposed to care about weight!  
  
Yu-Gi: Well I do. Do you have a problem?  
  
Yes. You smell like and old moldy hog!  
  
Yu-Gi: Sob sob! I must go take a shower! It'll only be a minute!  
  
(Three hours later)  
  
Yu-Gi: Hi! I'm back!  
  
Rinoa: Wow Squall! You got an invitation from the king?  
  
Squall: It's to Princess Garnet's 17th birthday! And it says I can bring a friend!  
  
Rinoa: Who are you gonna bring?!  
  
Squall: I'll bring.... CLOUD STRIFE!  
  
Yu-Gi: Sorry I took so long. The Red, yellow, and black hair dye washed out so I had to scrub it back in.  
  
Yeah yeah great. Well, it's 9:00. I'm going to bed.  
  
Yu-Gi: I have a better Idea! Let's stay up and swap silly stories! Tee hee!  
  
NO! I will NOT swap stories with you! Now just --- just get in the closet!  
  
Yu-Gi: Ok.  
  
(cricket cricket)  
  
Yu-Gi: I'm scared.  
  
Of what?  
  
Yu-Gi: Of the dark, and I brought this night-light but there's no electric plug!  
  
Sigh.... Here, come sleep on the floor over here.  
  
(cricket cricket)  
  
Yu-Gi: Do you think dreams come true?  
  
No.  
  
Yu-Gi: Really? Because today was like a dream come true. It was alot of fun.  
  
Yeah, blah blah blah. If you don't shut up I'll send you back to the closet.  
  
Yu-Gi: Sorry. What's your name?  
  
Uh..... Presea (It's not like I'll tell him my real name)  
  
Yu-Gi: Presea. Hey, Presea, I don't have anywhere to live, and I was wondering....  
  
Oh, go flush yourself down the toilet.  
  
Yu-Gi: (Ignoring me) Is it alright if I live with you?  
  
You can stay in the corner of my closet and not make a single sound, pretending you don't exist.  
  
Yu-Gi: Really? Oh thank you so much! ZZZZZZzzzzzz!  
  
Starting now.  
  
Yu-Gi: ZZZZZZzzzzzz!  
  
(I chunk Yu-Gi-Oh in my closet) What kind of idiot situation have I got myself into?  
  
---------------------------------------- End of Sow ----------------------------------------  
  
Sow: Oink?  
  
Not too bad, eh? r&r. 5 gets a new chapter. Oh joy. 


	2. In which I go insane

Yu-Gi-Oh is a Possessed Schoolgirl  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
In which YuGi drives me completely insane  
  
Summary: Pretty self explanitory, if you ask me...  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
*YAWN* Good morning sunshine.....  
  
..... I SAID, good morning sunshine!!!  
  
Sunshine: Oh, but I only say good morning back if it's going to be a good day.  
  
You can tell the future, Mr. Sunshine?  
  
Sunshine: Yes, I can tell you right now that today is NOT going to be a good day for you.  
  
Really?  
  
Sunshine: Yes. You might want to go ahead and call a mental hospital so there's one on hand.  
  
Thanks for the warning, but I'll pass. Why am I going to need a mental hospital?  
  
Sunshine: I can't tell you that!  
  
Why not?  
  
Sunshine: Well, if I went around telling everyone the layout of their day, then life would be totally boring, would it not?  
  
I suppose so....  
  
Sunshine: Now if you'd excuse me, I have to make my way over to New Zealand and I'd like to hurry up and pack before my flight comes in.  
  
Alright, Mr. Sunshine. Thanks again!  
  
Sunshine: Any time!  
  
YuGi: Helloooooo! :) :) :)  
  
I thought I told you to flush yourself down the toilet!!!  
  
YuGi: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Silly Master :) My head is way too big to fit in the plumbing!  
  
Big and empty, that's for sure...  
  
YuGi: THAT'S NOT VERY FRIENDLY :(  
  
If I was TRYING to be friendly, I would have done it already now wouldn't I?  
  
*********************************************************  
  
I think it's about time I insert a quick author's note. Obviously, my name isn't REALLY Presea. It's just a name from an anime I like. But still not wanting to tell YuGi my name as he would humiliate me in front of the entire world, I ordered him to call me Master unless told otherwise. Anyway, continuing on with the insanity....  
  
*********************************************************  
  
YuGi: Uh, I guess....  
  
You guess.  
  
YuGi: Yeah..... so?  
  
That's all you ever do, isn't it?  
  
YuGi: Whatever do you mean?  
  
*sigh* Stupid as a fish....  
  
YuGi: And dumb as a doornail! Hey, what IS a doornail?  
  
Only you, YuGi....  
  
YuGi: What did I do now?  
  
Only you would admit your stupidity...  
  
YuGi: Um.... okaaaaay... so what are we gonna do today? :) :) :)  
  
Maybe we'll go to Hawaii!!!  
  
YuGi: REALLY?! :) :) :)  
  
No wait..... there are OYSTERS in Hawaii!!!  
  
YuGi: What?  
  
I wonder if the ocean floor was covered in oysters...?  
  
YuGi: It would end world hunger!  
  
True, true, and yet, if butterflies were actually made of butter, we would eat lobster every night!  
  
YuGi: And I thought I didn't make any sense!  
  
But every cloud has a silver lining! Never give up those noble strengths, even as you grow older!  
  
YuGi: Please explain, you're confusing me!!!  
  
THE FUSE BOX IS LIT!  
  
YuGi: Oh no! Is.... that bad?  
  
OF COURSE I eat sushi! Did you think I was vegitarian?!  
  
YuGi: Technically, sushi isn't raw fish. The word means --  
  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  
  
YuGi: It's my birthday ?! :)  
  
And what a year it was! Yep, I think I'll eat a whale now!  
  
YuGi: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MASTER!!!  
  
See what I have to put up with, YuGi?!  
  
YuGi: Huh?  
  
All of your stupid babbling! It just goes on and on!  
  
YuGi: Are you hinting at something..?  
  
YuGi, do you want to know what I think?  
  
YuGi: What?  
  
Do you reeeeeaaaaally want to know?  
  
Yugi: What? What?  
  
Are you SURE you want to know?  
  
YuGi: I'm sure I'm sure pleeeeaaaase tell me!!  
  
I think you're a nerd, a geek, and totally dense.  
  
YuGi: That's not very --  
  
Yes, I am aware that it's not very friendly.  
  
YuGi: (eyes watering) You don't like me, do you..?  
  
No, YuGi, I don't like you.  
  
YuGi: (lip trembling) Not one bit...?  
  
No, YuGi. Not one bit.  
  
YuGi: (suddenly perky) Well, too bad! I'm sticking with you! :)  
  
GO AWAY ALREADY!!!  
  
YuGi: But you told me we were going to have lots of fun today! :)  
  
I said no such thing.  
  
YuGi: Yeah you did! You said we were going to Hawaii!  
  
No, I didn't.  
  
YuGi: Yeah you did!!!  
  
No, I did NOT!!!  
  
YuGi: OH YEAH?! WANNA BET?!  
  
NO, I absolutely do NOT want to bet!  
  
YuGi: Cuz you know I'm right, right? :)  
  
THIS IS UTTERLY INEXCUSABLE! This is MY house! Get lost!  
  
YuGi: :) Get lost.  
  
No way!  
  
YuGi: No way!  
  
Stop copying me!  
  
YuGi: Stop copying me!  
  
IF YOU DON'T STOP COPYING ME I'LL TIE YOU UP IN A BAMBOO MAT, SMASH YOU UNTIL YOUR BONES ARE RUNNY PULP, AND THROW YOU INTO A HOT SPRING!!!  
  
YuGi: If you don't stop copying me, I'll .... feed bamboo through your nose and... pulp and.... It's SPRING!!!  
  
No, it's Summer.  
  
YuGi: And that's your sister's name!  
  
Why, yes it is. Now SHUT UP!  
  
YuGi: But it's my birthday!!!  
  
There you go again! Always babbling about nonsense!  
  
YuGi: But you SAID it was my birthday!  
  
This is utterly inexcusable! Get out of my house!  
  
YuGi: But! But! But! It's my Birthday!  
  
That's the final straw!  
  
YuGi: The one that broke tha camel's back?  
  
Yes, that one.  
  
YuGi: But it wasn't REALLY the final straw cuz there's still some around today!  
  
Shut your lip!  
  
YuGi: It's MY birthday and I'll shut my lip if I want to!  
  
SHUT IT OR I'LL SHUT IT FOR YOU!!!  
  
YuGi: Shutting up...  
  
Good. Now, back to the oyster thing....  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ok, so maybe I was just too impatient to wait for 5 reviews. You know how I am. Or maybe you don't, but that's OK! Um... I really have nothing left to say, sooooo laters! 


	3. In which I do not tell you the plot

Yu-Gi-Oh is a Possessed Schoolgirl Who Lives In My Closet  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
In which I, the author, decide not to tell you what the plot is.  
  
A/N: I obviously don't own any of this cuz if I did I would be in Hawaii right now on my own personal beach resort on my private mansion in a YuGi-free zone, but instead I'm sitting here writing stupid Fanfiction for you so you can waste your time wondering what kind of boring life I must live to have free time to write this nutty fanfiction. Period, statemant, declaritive sentence.  
  
Summary: Read the chapter title! I'm not telling you the plot!  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Good Morning, Sunshine!  
  
YuGi: Good morning :)  
  
I wasn't talking to YOU, stupid. I was talking to Mr. Sunshine!  
  
YuGi: Hey, you know why it's so pretty today? :)  
  
*sigh* I'll bite. Why?  
  
YuGi: Because I'm the Sunshine Boy!  
  
(monotone) Wow. That is so amazing.  
  
YuGi: Isn't it? But you can't tell anyone because it's my secret identity!  
  
Is it now?  
  
YuGi: Yep! :)  
  
You know what, that's great. Now can you leave me to my boredom?  
  
YuGi: Don't you want to play dolls?  
  
YuGi, I don't like playing dolls with you.  
  
YuGi: You... don't?  
  
No, YuGi, I've never liked playing dolls with you.  
  
YuGi: Will you play dolls with the Sunshine Boy? :)  
  
I don't like playing dolls PERIOD.  
  
YuGi: But you played dolls with me before!  
  
I thought it would make you leave!  
  
YuGi: But! But! But! We had so much fun!  
  
YOU had so much fun. NOT me.  
  
YuGi: Do you want to go hiking? :)  
  
No, YuGi, I don't want to go hiking.  
  
YuGi: Do you want to go swimming then?  
  
No, I do not want to go swimming.  
  
YuGi: Do you want to go to the mall?  
  
How much money do you have?  
  
YuGi: I dunno. How much do you need?  
  
I dunno, fifty bucks?  
  
YuGi: All I got is a hundred...  
  
Deal.  
  
YuGi: YAAAAY! WE'RE GOING TO THE MALL!!!  
  
Mokona, you are one smart shopper!  
  
YuGi: Oo! Oo! Can I go to limited too?  
  
YOU can go to limited too.  
  
YuGi: What about you?  
  
I'M going to Game Stop.  
  
YuGi: But but but!  
  
Do you want to go to the mall or not?  
  
YuGi: Oh, OK...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
AT THE MALL  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
YuGi: Ok, I'll meet you here then?  
  
Yes, YuGi. You have ten minutes.  
  
YuGi: BUT! BUT! BUT!  
  
No buts. I know exactly what I want, and I want DVDs.  
  
YuGi: But! But! But!  
  
And I want to get home and watch them. Like, soon.  
  
YuGi: But! But! That's not enough time for me to shop!  
  
NINE minutes....  
  
YuGi: Going.....  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
Fifteen Minutes Later  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
YuGi: Hey, um, Master?  
  
Quiet. I'm watching Slayers.  
  
YuGi: Master, where are the scissors? I need to cut off this label.  
  
(I just HAPPENED to have the scissors) Here. Catch.  
  
*** and then I heard this squeel. But YuGi always squeels, so that was nothing new. So I just went on watching until I finished two episodes of Slayers TRY and realized I hadn't heard any noise from the nerd, so I got up and found....***  
  
Oh no! I killed YuGi!  
  
*** Yes, I had impaled him with the scissors, right through his scrawny little neck***  
  
The Anime Lodging Bureau isn't going to find this very funny. They may even land me with... SAILOR CHIBI MOON!  
  
(dun dun dunnnnn! lightning flash)  
  
I need someone FAST! Someone smart and wise....  
  
.  
  
..  
  
...  
  
....  
  
.....  
  
....  
  
...  
  
..  
  
.  
  
GOURRY GOURRY GOURRY!!!  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Note: Gourry is a character from Slayers who's as sharp as a spoon and smart as a jellyfish  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Gourry: What what what?  
  
Help help help!  
  
Gourry: What what what?  
  
I KILLED YUGI!!!  
  
Gourry: That's horrible! The Anime Lodging Buresu may land you with.... SAILOR CHIBI MOON!  
  
(dun dun dunnnn! Evil music, lightning)  
  
I know! And that's why I need your help! Oh, Almighty Gourry! Lend me thy wisdom!  
  
Gourry: Hmmmm......................................  
  
---------------------  
  
TWO HOURS LATER  
  
---------------------  
  
Gourry: I've got it!!!  
  
Zzzz.. huh? Wha? What is it?  
  
Gourry: I've just realized I have no idea on how to bring him back!  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I DON'T WANT TO PUT UP WITH... SAILOR CHIBI MOON!!!  
  
(dun dun dunnnnn! Evil music, lightning flashes)  
  
Gourry: Hmmm, now that you put it THAT way, I think you should........  
  
--------------------------  
  
THIRTY MINUTES LATER  
  
--------------------------  
  
Gourry: Uhh..................................  
  
HURRY UP!!!  
  
Gourry: You should find the Sunshine Boy!  
  
What?!  
  
Gourry: His secret utility belt has a button that can bring anything back to life!  
  
I thankith the for thy wisdom! Fare thee well, Almighty Gourry!  
  
Gourry: Fare thee well, and may good luck find thee!  
  
Yeah, whatever. Bye!  
  
Gourry: Laters!  
  
.  
  
..  
  
...  
  
....  
  
.....  
  
....  
  
...  
  
..  
  
.  
  
Let's see.... does YuGi even HAVE a secret utility belt?  
  
*** I then peered into my closet and discovered a bright yellow belt with a smiling sun on it with the words "Sunshine Secret Utility Belt" written on it ***  
  
Just like YuGi to label a secret utility belt.... ok, so I just push this button and.....  
  
((((((( ZAP )))))))  
  
*** I had the stupid belt aimed at a pair of jeans. Smart one, Mokona...***  
  
*** So the stupid jeans came to life and ate YuGi ***  
  
Stupid jeans! You don't understand my situation, do you?  
  
Jeans: Please explain for me, then.  
  
I impaled YuGi with those scissors by accident, and if the Anime Lodging Bureau finds out....  
  
Jeans: The what?  
  
The Anime Lodging Bureau. They're the ones who make sure that people housing anime characters aren't being abusive.  
  
Jeans: I see. Please continue.  
  
Anyways, if the ALB finds out, I'll be landed with SAILOR CHIBI MOON!!!  
  
(evil music, lightning flashes)  
  
Jeans: Well, that is not MY problem.  
  
Oh yeah? Guess where she'll sleep?  
  
Jeans: You.... don't mean...?  
  
Yep. In the closet.  
  
Jeans: Goodness, if you put it THAT way....  
  
***the pair of jeans spits up YuGi. Of course, jeans don't have any spit, so it wasn't really gross***  
  
Thanks, Blue Jeans.  
  
Jeans: Any time. Toodles! *hops back onto a hanger*  
  
Ok, now I just set this to this and....  
  
((((((( ZAP )))))))  
  
YuGi: Good morning, sunshine!  
  
You're wasting my life, Sunshine Boy. Now shut that lip of yours before I do!  
  
YuGi: Shutting up....  
  
And next time, CATCH the scissors.  
  
YuGi: Well, if you hadn't THROWN them at me--!  
  
(evil look) did you say something, YuGi?  
  
YuGi: Uh, I said, thank you very much.  
  
That's what I thought...  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
... Ok, so maybe the jeans coming to life and eating YuGi was exaggerating a little. Ah well. R&R!  
  
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End file.
